Another year slips by

2009 is just a few days away from coming to an end. It will go down as the most exciting and exacting year of my life. So much happened.

Summarizing, it was a year of hopes. A year of joys. A year of expectations. A year of hard work. A year of reaping the resulting fruits of labour. A year of making plans. A year of patient waiting. A year of love. A year of newly formed relationships. A year of celebrations. A year of promises. A year of many a discoveries. A year when dreams came true.

Standing at the threshold of 2010, I am wondering what is it going to bring. How will it fare in comparison?

Its elementary

A couple of weeks back I had the good fortune of visiting the MindTree campus in Bangalore. I returned loving its architecture and appreciating the thoughtfulness that must have gone into making it beautiful. Impressed by it all, I began reading its co-founder Subroto Bagchi's authored The High Performance Entrepreneur.

It has an interesting chapter which tells us the nine elements that one should have when setting up a core entrepreneurial team. The truth is we could do with making use of some of these in our personal relationships too. Here is my take.

1. Complementary composition
Just like with building a team, instead of looking for pure compatibility we should go for someone who is able to complement us. A couple need not be exact opposites to attract each other. They should really be able to fill in each others blanks. When and where one is weak, the other should take over.

2. Shared vision

When starting a company the core team should have a shared vision. I had read somewhere that couples who discuss their future plans indeed go a long way. Seeing another rejoice in your success and having them express their support in your endeavours can only increase your happiness by manifold and bring the two closer.

3. Transparency

Apparently even though the initial MindTree team had known each other for years, before starting they actually sat together to openly talk about themselves. The idea was to make members aware of any pitfalls including health problems that could affect the company adversely. Similarly in a relation being honest and truthful can save a lot of unnecessary time and emotions spent.

4. Ability to question each other and take disagreement in stride

It is understandable that during discussions of proposals and strategies everyone in the team is not bound to hold the same views. Occasionally this can lead to arguments and a heated atmosphere. The author says that before stepping out of the conference room the team should sort out their differences and arrive at a consensus. This is a rule which every husband and wife pair should also follow. One shouldn't carry your anger or grudges over to the next day. Let it go even before going to sleep.

5. Personal integrity and mutual trust, and Resilience

You must have faith in the venture you've begun and in the people who are there with you. There will be criticism and questions raised. Things might not seem to be going according to your plans. But you must not give up. Many companies failed to reach the pinnacle when people behind them lost steam. Any and every relationship has to go through its share of downs. But be it in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer... we should stand by each other.

Status update

This post is to update you on the recent events in my life which have kept me away from blogging.

Going in order of occurence, I completed writing my Ph.D thesis, got printed eight volumes of it with my name embossed in golden letters, and finally submitted the thesis in the university. The submission process thankfully went smoothly. Having accomplished the goal for which I had first joined NCL made me relieved and happy and at the same time also left me feeling empty. The only way to go ahead now is to aim for new and higher targets and walk on untrodden paths.

The other joyous occasion which took place was my wedding. I enjoyed all the celebrations and festivities in which we were joined by our families and friends. Marriage has brought some changes with it. A change from Miss to Mrs. A change of residence. A change of even the city of residence. And most importantly a change in waking up habits. :-p I am learning a lot of things and by that I don't simply mean cooking. What keeps me going when I almost lose it is the loving, caring, and helpful husband I have who on these occasions has more patience than me. :-)

It happens in love

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others,
and the delight in the recognition.

This is a quotation I found myself staring at on igoogle some days back. I would say that in love not only do you discover yourself in others but also discover yourself because of others. You come across feelings you never thought existed inside you. Over time you find out who and what is it that you hold most dear. You also come face to face with your strengths and weaknesses, your qualities and your vices, and your successes and your shortcomings.

Yes, when someone notices and appreciates your efforts, it sends you in raptures and you feel incredibly proud of even the littlest of good you might have done. On the other hand realizing where you lacked fills you with guilt. Along the way you learn how much more there is in you that you could and should give. Love humbles you.

Love across the salt desert

In our class XII English text book we had a chapter titled "Love across the salt desert". This is the story of Najab Hussain who falls in love with Fatimah, daughter of a spice seller from the other side of Kutch. Known to be a simpleton, Najab decides to brave the vast desert to meet his beloved. When they do meet, Fatimah discloses her fears of her family getting her married to another suitor. On hearing this Najab asks her if she would want to come with him on the journey back. Her entry into Najab's village is greeted with the falling of raindrops for the first time in two years.

I particularly love the following passage which tells the thoughts going through Fatimah's mind during the ride.

"It was only in passing that she thought of the village she was leaving for good. As for quitting one and entering another, she never gave it a thought. Where did one have the time for Pakistan and Hindustan when one was eloping with one’s love and crossing the desert which divided, both physically and symbolically, the two countries? For her it meant just a shift in dialect, a smear of Kutchi added and a little of Sindhi sandpapered away."

Fatimah's willingness to leave home, absence of worries about fitting into a new family, and simplistic approach to the huge transition about to take place, are highly endearing. In a world which has a habit of throwing doubts at you, she shows us how easy it really is embracing the changes in our lives.

She makes us realize that when in love we shouldn't be afraid of taking the leap.

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PS: Do you remember reading the story in school? What relevance does it hold for you today?

More romantic movie dialogues

1. Never Been Kissed
Josie: That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.


2. 13 Going On 30
Jenna: You want to know a secret?
Matt: Yeah.
Jenna: You are the sweetest guy I have ever met.



3. Runaway Bride
Ike: Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me.



4. As Good As It Gets
Melvin (to Carol): I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence," and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.


5. Sleepless In Seattle
Dr. Marcia: Tell me what was so special about your wife?
Sam: Well, how long is your program?... Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.

Without condition

When I let my thoughts wander a bit, a question that comes to my mind is that is there anything called true love. Many would say there isn't because love is always conditional. At first they do seem to be right. After all children always expect support from their parents. Younger siblings always want to be looked after by their elder brothers and sisters. Parents too hope that their kids on growing up will take care of them in old age. Even in our search for a life partner we tend to confine ourselves to a space defined by the qualities we desire for in a spouse.

Agreed that we expect certain conditions to be fulfilled. But what happens when they are not met to our satisfaction? Or when we happen to encounter in addition particular attributes, good or bad, which were unanticipated?

We don't start hating our children when they do not come first in their class. We might fight with our siblings but that does not mean everything is lost. We make up after those arguments. Your fiancee might act silly occasionally but you don't stop loving her. Your would-be might be a few cities apart but that does not diminish your feelings.

In my opinion, while it may be circumstances and needs which bring two people together but what keeps them truly entwined are selfless emotions unbound by any conditions.

Kaise mujhe tum....

This year I began my account of hindi movies by watching Aamir Khan's Ghajini in Bangalore. I did not like the film that much. But I came out loving one of the songs Kaise mujhe tum... from it. I suppose the reason for this is that the lyrics so beautifully convey what you feel when you've finally found your special someone.

It tells how when its just you and your thoughts, you wonder how did this miracle happen so much so that you can't believe your luck (Kaise mujhe tum mil gayi... Kismat pe aaye na yakeen...).

Then when you actually get a chance to spend some time with this person it leaves you confused because you are unable to decide whether you should just keep gazing at him or close your eyes and just go on endelessly hearing his voice full of love (Dekhoon tumhe ya main sunoo?).

There's only one question that you keep on asking the man in front of you. What took you so long? Why did you not come in my life earlier? (Kyon pehle na aayi tum?)

You remember the times you lamented at God asking Him why you were alone (Main toh yeh sochta tha ke aaj kal... Uparwaale ko fursat nahi). However, now you can't help but thank Him enough everyday with your faith in Him having increased by manifold (Meri nazar mein chadh gaya... Rutbe mein woh aur badh gaya).

Having realized "this is the one" you are left without doubts that you will never let go. Seasons may change but you'll always be there for your beloved every moment from hereon (Badlengi rituen ada ... Par main rahoongi sada... Har lamha har pal).

With that background let me put the lyrics of the entire song for you to savour.

Film: Ghajini
Music: A. R. Rahman
Lyrics: Prasoon Joshi
Singers: Benny Dayal and Shreya Ghoshal

Kaise mujhe tum mil gayi?
Kismat pe aaye na yakeen
Utar aayi jheel mein
Jaise chaand utarta hai kabhi
Houle houle dheere se

Gunguni dhoop ki tarah se
Tarranum mein tum
Chuke mujhe
Guzri ho yoon
Dekhoon tumhe Ya main sunoo?
Tum ho sukoon
Tum ho junoo
Kyun pehle na aayi tum?

Kaise mujhe tum mil gayi?
Kismat pe aaye na yakeen...

Main toh yeh sochta tha ke aaj kal
Uparwaale ko fursat nahi
Phir bhi tumhe banaake woh
Meri nazar mein chadh gaya
Rutbe mein woh aur badh gaya
Zindagi sitar ho gayi
Rimjhim malhar ho gayi
Mujhe aata nahi kismat pe apni yakeen
Kaise mujhko mil gayi?

Badle raaste jharne aur nadi
Badle ret ki tim tim
Chedhe zindagi dhun koi nayi
Badle barkha ki rimjhim
Badlengi rituen ada
Par main rahoongi sada
Usi tarah teri baahon mein baahein daalke
Har lamha har pal

Kaise mujhe tum mil gayi?
Kismat pe aaye na yakeen...

Motivation

I loved this cartoon strip as I sometimes really do behave like Garfield. Thankfully these days with lots of things on my hand and head like my pre-synopsis presentation, synopsis submission, wrapping up my Ph.D. thesis work, and worrying about it all, I have enough to force me to get out of bed every morning. I am however hoping that my lazy ways and days come soon again. :-)

Wanting more

In the book Oliver Twist there comes a time when all the boys in the workhouse are at the point of rebellion as they are much starved because of the meager amounts of gruel served to them during meals. Lots are drawn and Oliver is chosen to walk up to the manager after supper and say the now famous dialogue:

"Please, Sir, I want some more."

These days I find myself asking the same but for a different kind of hunger. Be it time, love, money or praise I don't feel satiated. Its not that I am being deprived of any of these or that what I have is too less. I simply crave for something beyond that.

This makes me question whether its right to feel like this in a world full of people suffering from deficiencies. But then wouldn't we be just in one place without our desires and ambitions of wanting more? Until you don't ask how will you receive?

Bend it like....

It is said that how flexible you are as a person can be determined from your thumb. People who can bend their thumbs to a great angle are normally willing to listen to reason while those who like me can't, are most likely to be stubborn in nature.

And sometimes I can really be unyielding.

You can see it in my resoluteness to not wanting to learn Marathi or Bengali. Many tried to teach me and failed. In comparison I am making way better progress at picking up Tamil now.

Perhaps my eagerness for attempting any new thing is inversely proportional to the pressure being exerted on me by people to do the same. For instance, in 2006 quite a few of my friends advised me to lose weight. Their suggestions meant well and held reason but instead had an opposite effect on me. I was irritated to the extent that I refused to do anything about it. A year later the story was different. One fine day I on my own joined the gym. What followed was four months of rigorous exercises and a strong determination to keep myself away from tasty high calorie pleasures. Honestly I am keen on getting back into that mode again but my attention is currently directed towards achieving other equally important short term goals.

Being obstinate is "not good". One should be open to suggestions. I understand that if an argument is valid then we should accept it graciously. But since my thumb does not allow me I take my time to do so.

:D

My third paper

My third paper in the area of hydrogen storage is now available online. You can view the article by clicking on the link:

http://xlink.rsc.org/?doi=B901115C

and can cite it as:

Journal of Materials Chemistry, 2009, DOI: 10.1039/B901115C

Fare thee well

Today as someone told me that he had packed his bags and was ready to shift into a new home, the time when I had bid farewell to my IITB Hostel-10 days flashed before my eyes.

I had collected so many things in those two years of M.Sc. in my small hostel room that I didn't know where to begin packing. So I did what I always do in times of trouble and that was ask for help from my elder sister. She came all the way from Delhi to Mumbai taking leave from office. In those two days I did nothing but look on as she went on doing her job. She even found time to treat me and my friends at Birdy's Pizza and Uttam Da Dhaba.

This year I'll be saying my bye-byes to NCL and will be moving to Bangalore. There are paraphernalia that I have kept safely with me since I was a kid such as school journals, English reader books, my favourite Sanskrit notes, my Aamir Khan scrapbooks and hundreds of his photos, gifts and cards received from friends, all my registers and books and photocopies from college till date, then several novels starting from Five Find-outers, and finally the photo albums carrying all the memories.

Once again I find myself clueless about how to go about performing this elephantine task. What is likely to make packing my belongings still more difficult this time is the mixed feelings I am going to have. It will be like a seesaw of emotions with the sadness associated with adieus pulling me down and the excitement of starting a new phase of my life lifting me up.

Blogger's block

I have been wanting to write for ages and I did attempt to put a post since my last one but didn't succeed in coming up with something substantial. This perhaps or really is related to the happenings in my life beginning November 2008 onwards.

Many important events have taken place following 01.01.2009 and many more are to occur in the coming months. The time in between these special occasions is spent in counting this in between time first as months, then days, and finally hours. The only thing that keeps me going and that makes me happy and anxious together, is looking at my watch and seeing its hands move. Nothing else excites me more than striking out each day off my calendar until that wonderful date arrives. Nothing besides this interests me either.

Today my life seems to be centered around one focal point but this has only brought me joy in leaps and bounds.

I have received so much that suffering from blogger's block is a very small price that I am paying. :-)

Bangalore tales (2): A prayer I say

My two Bangalore visits last month were not only sources of professional insight but also of great personal happiness. So much so that they've made me say the following prayer ever since I've returned.


A prayer I specially say today
Dear God to seek forgiveness.
If ever I failed before this moment
to be grateful for Your acts of kindness.

A prayer of thanks I also offer
Dear God for even the times that were bad.
If not for them I wouldn't have known
the value of what I now have.

A prayer I sincerely make
Dear God so that I may hurt "someone" never.
In thought and word and
through deed I only give him joy forever.

A prayer for blessings I finally ask
Dear God to shower on the bond newly made.
I wish that neither time nor distance
to cause the love from those hearts fade.

A sweet something

To mark the occasion of Valentine's Day I am putting here this luvvlie exchange of dialogue that I came across recently.



Sweetie: Can't ever get enough of you.
So promise to come in my dreams.
Cutie: Let me be your dream tonight...
and your reality forever.

:)

True value

I have heard that to know the substance of a relationship you have to sometimes let go of it first. This normally has to do with us trying to hold on to that which is long gone.

People also say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. When you are away from someone you love, you end up falling even more deeply in love with them knowing what you are missing. Friendships that survive the gap of thousands of miles are according to me of the everlasting category. You might not be chatting everyday but these are the people who come to your help the moment you ask for it.

Occasionally we tend to take things for granted in the confidence and strong belief of our dreams' eventual culmination. A wake up call is much needed to remind us then of there real worth and for us to be thankful for what we have. I realized this today to my own peril.

I just about spoiled what I had been looking forward to for ages. "Just about" because finally the danger was averted and I could breathe a sigh of relief. But in that one hour when I thought that my flight of imagination was going to come crashing down, it dawned up on me a million times how much what was going to be snatched away meant to me.

It seems to me as if a loss or a near loss is the only way for us to find out what we truly value.

Bangalore tales (1): Doing science in India

Last month I got a chance to attend two conferences in Bangalore and thanks to both had the joy of listening to two very passionate speakers.

Prof. C. N. R. Rao of Jawaharlal Nehru Centre of Advanced Scientific Research, Bangalore and Scientific Adviser to our Prime Minister delivered a public lecture on "Doing science in India: How to succeed!" He spoke with just the perfect blend of lightheartedness and gravity. I also had the pleasure of having a discussion on a similar topic with my Boss during the flight while on our way to the second conference.

The two learned scientists said in their own ways that if you want to do well in research then firstly you must choose an interesting topic to work in. If you are in an area of significance then half your battle is won. Once there you've got to plunge into it and attempt for breakthroughs which is not easy in a highly competitive field. Over the years you should build your expertise in a particular subject while also trying your hand at other research problems. It seems that in science being a master of one is better than being a jack of all trades. Also one must never forget the age old rule of publish or perish.

But publishing a number of papers and getting invited to give lectures does not necessarily mean you've achieved success. Success in my Boss's terminology is a synonym for respect and from whom that respect is coming makes all the difference in the world. The day someone of stature in your key research area has kind words to say about you is a day you can surely rejoice.

Chicken Biryani

Today being 26th January, our Republic Day and a holiday for me I decided to cook something special. What can beat a Chicken Biryani? And so I set out on my maiden attempt at this. The end result was rather decent. Here is a step by step procedure for those who wish to give it a try.


Ingredients:

4 medium sized onions thinly sliced
2 tomatoes finely chopped
Whole garam masala: 8-10 cloves, 6 choti ilaichi, 4 cinnamon sticks, 4 bay leaves
Soaked rice
Water
Chicken
Saffron soaked in warm milk
Dry masala: 1/2 tsp turmeric powder, 1 tsp coriander powder, 1 tsp garam masala powder, 1/2 tsp red chilly powder, salt to taste
For marinade: Salt, 2 tsp ginger-garlic paste, 1 tsp garam masala, 1 tsp turmeric powder, 1/2 tsp red chilly powder, 1/2 cup curd

Method:



Mix well the chicken pieces and the ingredients of marinade and keep aside for an hour.





In a vessel take sufficient water and add salt, half of the whole garam masala and the soaked rice. Let the water boil and cook until rice is 3/4th done. Remove from flame and drain the water remaining in the vessel.


Finely chop the tomatoes, cut the onions in lengthwise manner and soak the saffron in warm milk. Fry half of the onions until they turn dark brown and spread them on paper napkins to drain the excess oil.




Heat oil in a large kadhai and fry the rest of the whole garam masala in it. Fry the remaining two onions until golden brown. Next add the tomatoes and all of the dry masala. Cook while stirring for 2-3 min.



Now add the chicken (that had been marinaded for 1 hour) and cook until it is done and the masala turns dry. Remove from flame.







Take half of the chicken and cover it with a layer of the already cooked rice.








Pour over this rice the saffron coloured milk and sprinkle on top the onions that were fried to dark brown.






Cover these with a second layer of chicken, rice, saffron and fried onions as shown in the previous two steps.


Over a low flame first place a large pan and keep the above vessel on top of it covered with a lid. Cook for 10-12 minutes.









Your chicken biryani is now ready to serve!

Beautiful words in English

I got a forward today in my inbox listing 34 Beautiful Words in English. Along with each word there was a photo describing it. I agreed with some of the choices wholeheartedly (see below numbers 1, 2, 14 and 15) and not so much with others. So here's a similar list of 15 words, in no particular order, which according to me are just beautiful and why.


1. Love
because it has so many forms, each wonderful in its own way.
















2. Freedom
for me is the freedom to be with the one I love without a care, worry or fear in the world.













3. Faith
is the test of our unwavering belief in someone and our ability of not breaking someone's trust in us.











4. Prayer
a way of thanking God for everything.















5. Family
the support that keeps you going when nothing else does.









6. Blessings
are the good wishes of our parents for every new step that we take in our lives.












7. Rest
is what I feel in someone's arms.












8. Happiness
this is the best aftereffect of love.













9. Dreams
always make me smile, especially the ones I spin in broad daylight with my eyes wide open.












10. Ambition
because without it we'd be standing at just one place.

11. Drive
the key ingredient which keeps us on the road to success.











12. Heart
as it never lets us astray.












13. Midway
in a friend's words "relationships are all about meeting midway".

14. Eternity
stands for you and I together forever.










15. Destiny
you don't believe in it until it happens.














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PS: Which words did you like the most from the above list?

Fear factor

I was wondering that does fear always trickle in when something extremely good happens to us.

Popular film stars, cricketers on a roll and leading businessmen are often asked whether they are afraid of all the success and glamor being snatched away from them. What if one day they wake up to find that everything that they have achieved is suddenly gone?

Those in love too tend to have similar worries both knowingly and unknowingly. You are so happy that you begin to question whether you should be so happy. Aishwarya Rai sings

Lekin chahat mein sajna-sajni ko
Lagti hai ek duje ki nazar...

in the Nimbooda song from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. What she means is that the evil eye cast upon lovers is really their own because they have eyes only for each other. This is different from the usual apprehension that if you let in the world on your secret then someone's shadow might fall on your blissful life. Not surprisingly we like to be guarded in what we reveal.

I guess the only way to let go of such fears is to have confidence in yourself and those who love you that together you will be able to withstand all the stormy weather. At the same time you must savor the beautiful spring that has bloomed in your life and keep faith that it will be an everlasting one.

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PS: What are your fears in love or otherwise?