If you were in my position

Agar tum meri jagah hote toh kya karte?

If you were in my position then what would you do?

This is a question which has been spoken many a times in Hindi movies by heroes and heroines in order to justify their actions.

In a love triangle one of the lead characters resolves never to reveal his/her feelings and takes a step back because thats what someone else in their place would have done. The Rishi Kapoor-Dimple Kapadia-Kamal Hassan film Sagar is a classic example. So is the Sanjay Dutt-Madhuri Dixit-Salman Khan starrer Saajan.

When the unfaithful husband returns to his wife pleading forgiveness, she asks him just one thing. Would he take her back if she had cheated on him? In Arth Shabana Azmi refuses to accept Kulbhushan Kharbanda back in her life. In the most recent Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna Preity Zinta slaps Shahrukh Khan when he tells her the truth about his affair with Rani Mukherjee and throws him out of the house.

Sometimes in order to save a character from going through tough times the hero or heroine is willing to trade places with them. Manisha Koirala in the very melodramatic Mann looses her legs in an accident and decides never to disclose this to Aamir Khan until he finds out the truth in the climax of the film and says "kaash yeh haadsa mere saath hua hota" wishing to have been in Manisha's place instead.

In movies whenever the scene calls for people to be modest about the good deeds they've done they exclaim "agar aap meri jagah hote toh yahi karte" (if you were in my position you would have done the same thing). This dialogue mostly comes after the hero has saved someone from committing suicide or getting run over by a car or from being robbed/beaten by gundas.

In the comic caper Tere Mere Sapne the two heroes Arshad Warsi and Chandrachur Singh literally switch their positions by interchanging their professions of a taxi driver and a business tycoon to experience the different lifestyles.

A week or two back I was reading a book called The Art of Happiness in which the Dalai Lama has said that one way of overcoming your anger (and thus removing one factor that leads to unpleasantness) at someone's bad behaviour is to put yourself in their place. What kind of a life a person must be leading if he has to rob or cheat you in order to make ends meet!!

Not only is this a surefire way for us to understand other people better but also a rule that will turn us into better human beings. If before hurting or decieving someone we gave a thought to what we will be making them go through, it would save a lot tears.