My last post here

When I had started this blog My Scribbling Space in September 2006, I was a Ph.D. student at National Chemical Laboratory, Pune, India. But its been more than two years since I got the coveted degree and I feel little connection as nclgirl. Not surprisingly then the last time I posted here was a long time back on 5 January, 2012. I am, therefore, closing the curtains here only to open them elsewhere.

In a bid to find myself as a writer again I am beginning a new blog titled "Write around the corner". I hope to see you then hereafter on www.maarkmywords.blogspot.com.

New year

"We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person"  

W. Somerset Maugham

It has been a while since 2012 set in, but I haven't been able to get the above lines out of my mind. 

Over time relationships undergo a transformation. With some people we become increasingly comfortable, familiarity smooths the initial kinks, and the connection strengthens. In other cases those who once held prime importance for us, fade out of our lives at a later stage. This disappearance could be simply a derivative of our busyness or a shift of priorities. In rare instances the decision to keep away is even intentional. 

Whatever the reason for the distance, we may occasionally look back, ponder over how it happened and even try to bridge the gap. However, any such attempt would be fruitless if the desire to restore things to former glory isn't mutual.  

In Hindi there is a saying: taali ek haath se nahi bajti (you cannot clap with just one hand). It takes two to tango. So is the case with maintaining ties in their true spirit. The effort has to come from both sides.

If the person in front is unwilling to reach for your outstretched hand and has closed his/her heart, then what can be done? You come out feeling foolish and worse still, deeply saddened.

Not only is it a happy chance to be able to keep loving a changed person, but to have them continue to love you back.

 ------------------------------------------------------

PS: What should one do to make this happy chance actually possible? 

My first year in Uppsala

I was torn apart between writing this post now and keeping it for the new year. After a bit of tussle I decided to go with the first option. The fact that I have been away from blogging for a while also worked in its favor. So here I am rewinding back to the days gone by.

My Arrival in Uppsala had not been an easy one. This had nothing to do with my flights, but with the long time it took to receive my new passport as Police Verification traversed three cities: Chennai, Pune and Delhi. When I finally managed to get it in hand I immediately applied for a Swedish Work Permit. Though the decision came in my inbox within three weeks it took some days to get it stamped on my passport as it had to be sent to Delhi. My woes did not end and the passport mailed through a courier service met with a further delay. It was a near photo finish as I eventually got hold of my prized possession with only the weekend to spare before my departure. The two days were precious as packing efficiently was key without any extra baggage allowance.

Settling in Uppsala was easy thanks to some acquaintances I had made while I was still in Chennai. They showed me the ropes and I was soon on my own. The fact that a change of events had led me to be a part of the research group I would have wanted to in an ideal situation cheered me. The cold weather in some inexplicable way warmed my heart towards the city and I felt at home without which I would have found it difficult to live alone for a long stretch of time. This besides, preparing for someone's arrival during Christmas holidays for three weeks added to the excitement.

Partings and meetings with my husband happened every few months whenever he had a break before the start of a new course semester. It was the time in between that was a test for both of us. Barring the few occasions requiring a complaint report, we did our best to not be demanding. What was important was to keep each other abreast of our daily lives which had got separated having to reside in two different countries. Even in absence the other person's presence was made to feel, the knowledge of which brought in a sense of security.

Temperature monitoring was of supreme importance throughout the winter season which lasted until March end. I remember returning from UK then to be welcomed by the sight of vanished snow. I was fascinated to see that even after weathering terrible conditions the grass grew, the trees got their leaves back and flowers bloomed all around on their own when summer arrived. I don't think I have ever appreciated nature and its beauty in this manner before.

Drawing comparisons with conditions back home happened inevitably. Consider something as basic as a bus ride. I still feel horrified recalling my 15-20 min journeys from home in Pune to NCL and back during my PhD. The buses would always be extremely crowded in the morning with everyone going towards the city for work and I had to fight my way through the length of the bus to reach the exit when my stop came at the cost of mercilessly stepping on people's toes. The evenings were no different with people returning home. Worse still some buses wouldn't stop requiring me to wait for another 45 minutes for the next round.
         
Commuting within Uppsala and around is really smooth. The buses are mostly on schedule and if delayed then only by a few minutes. A combined timetable for all the buses is freely distributed. On the ul.se site you can even type in your starting point and destination to find out which buses can be boarded at a given time. The heavy traffic and high population in India are perhaps deterrents for implementation of such a disciplined scheme.
         

You never hear about deaths due to cold even when temperatures dip much more than say in New Delhi (-20 deg C vs 4 deg C). Stricken with poverty people in India sleep on the roads and huddle themselves around small bonfires to keep warm while some families live in tents with little to protect. Homes, offices, and public transport have excellent heating systems and its as good as 20-25 deg C inside there confines.
         
What I miss is the excitement and furor revolving around various events happening in my motherland. For instance, our Indian Cricket Team bringing home the World Cup after a long wait. The support and fasting along with Team Anna. The debating over the various scams. The dandias at Navratri. The firecrackers at Diwali. The release of the 160 crore Ra.One. I miss even the crowds and the hustle-bustle.

Any differences from this time last year? We can do without wearing woolen gloves and caps. Much to my surprise the temperature is yet to drop below zero deg C. I am almost wishing for it to snow but mostly sunny days have been forecast for the next fortnight. A major change is I am back with my husband and happy days are here again. (*crossing my fingers*)


------------------------------------------------------------
PS: How was your first year or for that matter trip of any length outside your home country? Was the transition easy? For those who have been away for longer how does it feel now?

Serious reading (1)

When it comes to movies I try avoiding ones with sad stories as I inadvertently tend to get teary eyed. But it is different with books probably because I want to learn how words can have same effect on you as visuals. In this context I liked Manju Kapur’s Custody and Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns. These books differ significantly if you look at the time and place where the stories are set. The points that they have in common are the simplistic writing, presence of strong characters and the fact that they deal with complex situations. 

Here is my summary of one of them.

As the name of the book suggests Custody by Manju Kapur is about the tussle between separated couples over taking charge of their children.

Raman and Shagun have been married for close to ten years. They have an eight year old son Arjun and a baby girl Roohi. Around this time Shagun meets Ashok and they get involved in an affair. Shagun’s changed behavior and the developing distance doesn’t go unnoticed. by Raman Soon he unearths the truth and on confrontation Shagun walks out of the house leaving the children. But when her husband refuses to divorce she takes the kids away and moves in with Ashok. 

While the parents are battling it out in court, the children are adjusting to the new man in their lives. Arjun is taken by Ashok’s bold nature and man-to-man bonding as opposed to his father's overbearing attitude. He agrees to the idea of being sent to a boarding school in Dehradun as a means for toughening up. At the same time Ashok gets an offer to work in the US. Shagun agrees to give up custody of the children so that she can marry him and go along. Raman also settles for divorce. 

In parallel is running the story of Ishita married to Suryakanta. Life was beautiful until they find that she can’t have babies. She gives in to her mother-in-law's suggestion of going for painful procedure of IVF. But when it does not lead to a successful result Suryakanta divorces Ishita and she returns to her parental home to begin life anew. Her parents and Raman’s live in the same building and introduce the two of them. She forms an instant connection with Roohi as well. As time passes Raman and Ishita get married. Ishita puts all her energy and soul into taking care of Roohi in whom she sees the child she can never have. For Roohi Ishita becomes her mother.

Neither of the protagonists is able to achieve normalcy as their lives and wants get entangled. Each is aware of the loss they have suffered and fearful of what more might be snatched away. They all take extreme steps to keep close the ones they love. The tragedy of Custody lies in how personal choices for happiness lead to constrained motherhood and damaged father-son relationships. 

-------------------------------------------------------

PS: Have you read this book or any others by Manju Kapur? 

Chic-lit (1)

After work or on weekends when I just want to unwind it is nice to pick up something to read which is light in its content, easy on the mind, straightforward and simple in its storyline, and ideally having some elements of romance. Normally what I choose tends to fall in the chic-lit category. Here are two such examples of entertaining books.

Which one of you girls hasn’t felt compelled to compare yourself to your boyfriend’s ex?

Which one of you has never feared your lover’s past coming back to haunt you? 

Which one you have not felt uncomfortable at the continued friendship between those who broke up?

In Laura Zigman’s "HER" Elise goes through the whole juggernaut. Elise first meets Donald on a flight. They continue to see each other even after landing. It is not long before they fall in love and Donald proposes. All along though Elise feels ill at ease with his frank admission about his still being friends with ex-fiance Adrienne. The one relief is that Adrienne lives in New York while they are based in Washington. But just when it seems that everything is well, comes a phone call from Adrienne announcing that she is moving to their city and into their lives. Elise has misgivings about this sudden detour and is sure that Adrienne has ulterior motives. 

What happens next is narrated in the wittiest manner. Elise’s exaggerated antics to take control make you laugh. At the same time you worry for her and wish for a happy turn of events in her favor. 

Like the title on the book cover you question “Every man comes with baggage. But does it have to be HER.”

In short the story of Stilletos in the Boardroom by Shruti Saxena is all about “girl power”. 

The setting is a BPO called BankPro. A US based company CBS has outsourced a prime business (DCP) to BankPro instead of its own Indian branch. The transition needs to be completed within three months with support from CBS-India. But all is not as clean and simple as it seems. 

A ploy is being made to see that BankPro fails in delivering so that the project ultimately goes to CBS-India at a time it is capable of handling it. In the midst of this are three central characters Arya, Shivaa and Sara.

Arya has been recently brought in to lead the DCP transition. Shivaa, the Manager-Operations, has to oversee the smooth running of the program. Sara is one of the newly hired candidates to be trained. Apart from the obstacles at work these women must also sort out their personal affairs: a broken heart, a relationship growing apart and an impending marriage.

Stilletos in the Boardroom is an interesting read which gives us a peek into the working environment of a BPO. Within the realm of corporate world, through the three leading ladies you experience ambition, drive, anger, frustration, and love.







-------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS: Have read any such light books lately? Which one is your favorite?